Yes, we were. I wasn't conscious of it either, and even when things tried to penetrate my conscious mind, I dismissed them.
I also have to admit that some parts of being in that hetero-normative life were good. I had a great wife. At one time, I hoped she might become a drunk or something, so that I could leave with a socially acceptable explanation.
Now, I recognize that we both have managed to have more fulfilling lives apart from each other, although we still remain close.