Thank you for your courage, Mohamed.
As a psychiatrist in practice for nearly fifty years, I have treated a lot of people with depression. Medications work. Not always. Not for everyone. But for some they are truly life-saving.
So many of the symptoms you described are very familiar to me, and you have described them very well. It is often challenging to explain to someone how you feel and why. Sometimes thinking almost stops. One patient once said to me, “I can’t decide which button on my shirt to button first.” Something we do so automatically was momentous for her. How could she have possibly made big decisions about her life?
Anorgasmia and other sexual dysfunctions are one of the most difficult problems. When you’re depressed, it doesn’t usually matter much because the depression has taken away your ability to experience pleasure. You don’t miss sex because you probably weren’t having much before. But as you improve, it becomes a much more important issue.
But once the recovery begins, then meds can be adjusted or augmented or whatever is needed to continue to make improvements.
The emotional numbness is also a problem sometimes. The goal is not to flat-line you emotionally, but as you say, to have you become the person you always wanted to be. Again, careful adjustments over time can improve things.
I understand some of the concern expressed about Big Pharma, and some of it is certainly justified. Meds aren’t perfect and need to be only a part of a treatment plan that also addresses psychosocial issues.
It is my philosophy that those of us who are care-providers have a responsibility to teach our patients/clients to care for themselves. In order to do that it is important to understand the symptoms and the various treatments and their effectiveness.
Thanks again for posting this important information.
One final thought: Never, ever let go of hope.