It took me a long time to accept I am gay, but I missed some early clues.


It’s not only young people who question if they are gay. Men and women in mid-life or older experience conflict about sexual orientation.

I preach about the difference between sexual behavior and sexual identity. Sexual identity is an enduring sense of sexuality. If you’re curious or questioning, you’re probably not gay. At least, not yet.

Many are caught in a sexual purgatory trying to figure out whom they want in their lives. There is no “Am I Gay Test.”

It isn’t what you do with your genitalia.

With whom can you form emotional bonds? With whom do you wish to have an enduring emotional, romantic, and sexual relationship?



Loren A Olson MD

Gay father; Psychiatrist; Award-winning author FINALLY OUT. Chapter excerpt here: http://bit.ly/2EyhXTY Top writer on Medium. Not medical advice.