I struggled with "survivor's guilt" during the Viet Nam era.

I was in medical school when I signed up for the U. S. Navy in 1966. We had been informed that every eligible member of my graduating class would be drafted into the military, and I wanted to take charge of my future.

I chose the Navy because I thought that would be the safest option to avoid combat. Then, when I entered the Navy, I found that the Navy supplied the physicians for the Marines.

After graduating from USN Flight Surgeon schoo, about 1/3 of my class went to the Marines. "At least it's not me."

After I entered the Navy, I found that many of my class mates from both medical school and Flight Surgeon School had gone to Viet Nam. I went to Europe. "At least it's not me."

I subsequently learned that my friends had been triage doctors in Viet Nam, making decisions on the battle field, "He can live; he will probably die." Again I felt, "At least it's not me."

I am proud to have served in the military, but now, fifty years later, I still feel a sense of guilt that my life was so much easier than my friends.

Survivor guilt is real.

Thanks for your article, Ryan.