But that is the point of the essay.

I didn't want to be gay, so I unconsciously designed it to be disappointing. As I wrote, "Well, now I’ve done that. Rather disappointing. Not what I’d imagined. I must not be gay."

That was the evidence I sought. It allowed me to return to the hetero-normative life I'd created for myself. I wasn't ready to sacrifice that.

As I feared, all of that changed when I later fell in love with a man, a young, attractive man who blew my socks off. At that time, I had to confront all the feelings I didn't have with my first experience.

https://medium.com/hello-love/a-few-stolen-moments-312d23cafacf

I've been with my husband now for 33 years. We met long before the 21st Century.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store